I think there is grease spewing from every pore of my body. I have eaten fries with almost every meal and I am pretty sure that most of my meals are fried or made with 10 cups of butter. Yum.

Anyway, I am back from Bruges. I was starving and cranky so Kensie, Adrienne, and I went to (big surprise...) a kabob restaurant. I had a midget-sized bite of my fried chicken sandwich, came back to my new home and chugged water. Then I went on Blackboard to check my e-mails and facebook to untag all tagged photos of me from this weekend (my God I hope my group has pity on me and doesn't tag me). To sum everything up, I basically cried like a newborn baby when I started to read the messages from my friends and family. Even before I knew I was homesick, my friends and family knew wrote me insanely long letters/messages to comfort me because they knew it was coming. I know, I know I should be having fun and not being such a downer but I am so used to calling/ seeing/ texting/ talking them so often that when I can't update them on the best hot chocolate I have ever had in my life, it doesn't feel the same. I hate that Luxembourg is 9 hours ahead of California and that every time I go to sleep, everyone is just waking up. I purposefully stay online later than I should to talk to my best friends but it still doesn't seem like enough. I miss all the hugs, uncontrollable laughter, and eating until I need to be rolled off my bed and into my car to get more frozen yogurt. My parents, who are the funniest, cutest, and undoubtedly the most wonderful people on this Earth call me on skype just to say hello and hear my voice everyday. Ugh. I miss them.

I am sorry I am on a sap-trip right now but I feel like my heart is breaking into a thousand pieces... over and over and over again. This is enormously different in comparison to moving to Ohio. I could immediately call my friends and family any time of the day and it wouldn't matter because it would only be a three hour difference. I would constantly get surprise packages from my friends with letters and gifts and I would feel whole again. But here? There is no solution. I was talking to a couple friends on the train back from Bruges and we were discussing our family and parents. When they asked me what my parents were like I said "they're nice" and dazed off in to space ...oh, but there is so much more. I thought that if I told them all the funny little things they have done and how great they are then I would start to cry because I miss them so much. And that would be awkward. Especially when it's three guys. super awk.

Now on to the personalized dedications... because I know you guys are probably the only ones who read my blog <3>

Patti- You're the best sister that anyone could ever ask for. I used to think you were brutal because I was such a dreamer but your honesty has helped me see things in a new light--things are attainable, never impossible if I take the right steps and do the hard work to accomplish them. You are always here to talk and make jokes, even when you're always thousands of miles away. I know we don't talk about our feelings because you're not "gushy" but I LOVE YOU!!! oh and I got you the sweetest lace bookmark ever. :) I'll mail it to you asap.

Steph--I love you so much. It makes me so sad when I read your messages and realize that I cannot call you and leave 7 minute voice messages about Jim's horchatas. 21 choices? Beach trips? Going to depressing Holocaust museums together? Hahha I miss it already. I can tell you everything and trust that I will never be judged. I am confident that I never have to try and be someone else because I already have people like you who have accepted me exactly as I am. Moist toes and all. :) I cannot wait to see you during Christmas break and eat cake with black dye so we look like zombies and then binge eat some more with greg while he gives us financial advice. HA! I cannot wait to see you again! Please don't cry!!!!!!!!!! It'll be like the time when I first left to Miami and we had a cry fest at the airport when I was leaving and people thought we were lesbian lovers (they wish) and my parents got really awkward because we were making it seem like I was leaving forever to South Africa. :) I love you dawgy dawg :)

Lilli- Uhm. Your awkward hugs are the best!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahah I laughed out loud when you left because I thought "I can tell her anything about everything but when it comes to hugs, ... no." I MISS YOU AND I LOVE YOU!!! You are hilarious. People meet you and think you are quiet and meek but GIRRRRRRRRRRRL I know how you really are and I love it. I wish I could visit you every day and have some more fun and rowdy nights at USC ;)You are so thoughtful and I love that over the years we have only gotten closer. :) I hate that I can't text you every second of the day. Do you know how depressing it is that I get out my phone on the train to text you but realize that I cant send 9-page long text messages? Real depressing. I bought you a little surprise in Bruges and I want to mail it to you but I feel like it's going to be a thousand dollars to ship it slash it's REALLY heavy. I hate that we can't mail each other packages all the time, it's no fun. I am creeping you on facebook right now...expected. i love you! :) hehe

Now on to my trip to Bruges, Belgium!!!

Absolutely beautiful.

Just kidding. My sister is on skype so I am going to creep and call her. I'll update this asap.

J.